Today
I didn’t get much deep sleep last night, kept waking up. The spiritual wind I felt yesterday really stirred me.
I felt pretty drained today, the same feeling I had during the practice of solitude when I was fighting against the darkness within me. But this time is quite different, there are no specific thoughts or emotions I can grasp. It’s just a feeling.
So I respected this feeling. I stopped myself in the middle of a project, sat down, and meditated. “Father, I am ready” jumped out of my mouth during my quiet time with Him, and I kept repeating it.
I can feel things are moving on a spiritual level but can’t yet put them into shapes and words.
In the morning, I read a story that reminded me of an old friend who is like a father to me. He has faced much hardship in his life. Once a dedicated Christian, he had turned away from his faith. I said a little prayer for him.
Closer to dinner time, I was feeling so drained and lying on the couch, trying to find something to give me energy, when I suddenly got a message from this old friend:
“Be hold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.”
He never texts me things like this out of nowhere. The moment I read it, I knew it was arranged by God. I ended up calling him, and we had a long talk about faith. He shared many of his struggles that he had never shared with me before.
Even in times like this, when I don’t feel good and God seems out of the picture, I know He is still with me and working things out for me according to His timeline.
Thank you, Father, for being with me and sending signals in my world.
Afterthoughts:
As I was writing the jounral I went back to the message my friend sent to me, and realized it is “Be bold” not “Be hold”.
“Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.”
As I was writing the journal, I went back to the message my friend sent me and realized it is “Be bold,” not “Be hold.”
“Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.”
And “Be bold” is something more in character for my friend to say, but at that moment, I needed to see “Be hold,” especially after Pastor Bob did a whole series on “Behold your God!” This word has power in my heart.
Every single time I notice these details of how God uses the same thing but tweaks it perfectly to fit all characters in life, it blows my mind.
Father, I know you are in all the big things and small things in my life 24/7, and I am ready to see You in all of them.