After I received the calling from God to spread His word to as many people as possible, I began preparing for this mission. I told my husband about it and drafted a blog today to announce the online group I will be leading, ready to post tomorrow.

I have nothing planned except the announcement. The conversation between Jesus and Little James from last night is circling in my mind while I am at the gym. Suddenly, something hit me from within, and I broke down crying and had to run to the bathroom.

Little James’ face lingered in my mind. I deeply felt his shyness and insecurity when Jesus told him he would have the power to heal others, despite not being healed himself. At that moment, I was Little James. The reason I broke down is that I felt an overwhelming presence of God in me saying: “I am with you, and the power I gave to my 12 disciples, I will give to you as well.”

I was in shock and felt so unworthy compared to the tremendous love I felt in my heart. I just kept crying and crying. Then, I heard a line that God voiced in my heart a few days ago: “How dare you enter the holy ground!” All my unworthy thoughts went away. I was again at a loss for words to describe how perfect I felt at that moment. The perfection didn’t come from who I am but from how perfectly God loves me.

Again, I got my confidence back. I understand God’s pace for guiding me. He told me to do something, and I just needed to do it. The help and whatever I need will be provided when the time comes, just like today.

God highlighted the line in my heart again and again: “How dare you enter the holy ground!”

He is saying to me: This is how it’s done when distractions come. All you need to do is command as I have shown you.