No is good

Many things happened yesterday, and I’m still trying to get on top of everything. A parcel we had backed out of, hoping to get it at a cheaper price, resurfaced for the third time. The last buyer, their backup offer, backed out because he was diagnosed with late-stage brain cancer. Our hopes were raised, but last night we were told that for some reason, the seller just doesn’t want to deal with us at all. This parcel has lifted my hopes high and thrown me into the lowest pit many times. All because I labeled it as “This is good. If I don’t get it, I won’t be happy.” But now, I have fully decided to let it go and trust that God is making this clear for us with a strong sign. So, thank you, Abba. My mind still struggles with accepting no for an answer, but my heart knows this is the right path for us.

It should be easy

Yesterday morning, I hosted my first online group, open to everyone who wanted to join. Nineteen people attended, and I felt at ease the entire time. The session lasted an hour, which was shorter than I had expected. In my mind, I had envisioned a large crowd eager to hear me talk about Jesus or ask many questions. I felt a strong calling from God to do this, and I associated it with applause and excitement. After the session, people had many positive things to say about the group. The word that resonated in my heart throughout this experience was “EASY.” I realized that the image I had created in my mind was heavily self-centered, and the feeling I received was what God intended for me. He planted a clear confidence in my heart: working for Him nourishes my heart, not my ego/head. As long as my heart is with Him, my soul will always find peace and there will be no room for ego/head to exist.

It is easy

Since I have been so focused on property hunting, I have left many errands and tasks unattended. This morning, I was eager to jump back into everything, but my lower back pain has been bothering me for a while. I know I need to resume my morning yoga sessions, but for some reason, it just seems so hard.

This morning, I remembered my experience from yesterday: as long as my heart is with Him, it should be easy. So I put on some worship music, closed my eyes, and spent a few minutes clearing my mind. Shortly after, my body took over, moving in ways it felt led to, guiding me through a 20-minute stretching/yoga session. The whole time, I didn’t open my eyes once. It felt like God was moving my body for me. I felt so relaxed and replenished.

I ended with a few minutes of prayer, and God’s strong presence moved me to tears once again, sat there, cherishing the intimate “You and me” moment. Afterward, I felt an intuition to open my Bible and check today’s verse, which was: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” Proverbs 31:30 NLT