Last Night

Writing has become a beloved part of my life. Instead of wasting time on social media, I now use my moments, even in the bathroom, to write mini blogs. Last night, while showering, I thought, “I need to hurry so I can post it.” Immediately after that thought, I felt God push the pause button on me. I was suddenly so fatigued that all I could do was go to bed, and especially craving quiet time with Him. I realized this was His way of telling me that He doesn’t need me to work for Him; He just wants me to be with Him.

I know my head wants to work for him, but I’m trying to give my heart the steering wheel now. So I jumped in bed told me husband I have to skip the bible reading tonight and just mediated before sleep, and I fall asleep that way which is the best way to fall asleep. It felt like God is tucking me in.

Punishment

I want to remember two words from my recent studies: “humus” and “punish.”

God has placed enormous limits around even the most gifted of us. Why? To keep us grounded, to keep us humble. In fact, the very meaning of the word humility has its root in the Latin humus, meaning
“of the earth.” — Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

The Hebrew word for “punish” carries the connotation of “tends to repeat.” — Julie

I resonated deeply with the Hebrew meaning of punishment, and the image of Ouroboros (a snake or dragon devouring its own tail and that is used especially to represent the eternal cycle of destruction and rebirth.) came to mind. The repetitive nature of punishment aligns with what I learned as a child from Buddhism: the cycle of suffering and rebirth. Only those who achieve enlightenment (nirvana) can possibly escape this punishment.

God doesn’t punish us

I began to recall my experiences with God, which are completely opposite to what punishment feels like. Every encounter with Him is new and filled with surprises. God is infinite, ever-renewing, and rich beyond my expectations. Repetition is simply not His nature.