I don’t need to be that good
Today’s devotional deeply resonated with me. Just like the author said, when I think of battle, I picture tension and fear, soldiers who need strength and rigorous training to face it all head-on. That’s how I’ve been fighting my battles for a long time.
But this year, I joined the Practice of Solitude study with Julie, and since then, I’ve been learning to sit in silence, even timing how long I can stay there. One day, I caught myself trying to “measure up” even in solitude—and at that moment, the Holy Spirit whispered to me during my VR workout. I use a VR boxing app, and that day, the tagline said something like: The victory of a workout isn’t in the result, just showing up each time is real progress and victory.
It struck me right in my heart. I don’t have to measure up to the perfect “spiritual Zoey” in my mind—strong, brave, loving. I fall short all the time, and that’s okay. That doesn’t determine the result of my spiritual battle. What does is remembering to call on Jesus and invite Him in. That’s so much more attainable.
The enemy has brainwashed me to believe my worth and victory are tied only to achievement, and that’s been his biggest trap. But now, I see it.
A childhood story about Buddha has finally clicked for me: elders would say that if you call out Buddha’s name as you pass, he’ll come to guide you home—similar to reaching heaven in Chinese culture. As a kid, I thought, That’s easy, I can do that! But as I’ve grown, what seemed so simple became tangled up in my mind, or I’ve been too distracted to remember it at all.
The battle is hard, but the path is simple and straightforward. Zoey, you just need to keep walking it!
He answers my prayers again
First and foremost, I want to thank God with all my heart. He has never failed to answer my spiritual questions, and He does so with such clarity and thoughtfulness that I can’t miss it or be confused. Lord, Your unfailing love is all I need. I love You with all I have.
God’s teaching #1
I realized I’d been distracted by the enemy’s lies, convincing me I had to achieve to be a good child of God—that I needed to do this or that. Burdened by the fear of not serving the true God, I eventually stopped “doing” altogether, stuck in the same place. But yesterday, He reminded me again: His way is not just in results, actions, or even the journey, it’s the continuous flow of all of these. In the past, I focused only on outcomes, sometimes adding in the journey, but that’s not God’s way. God’s way has no beginning or end—it’s the infinite experience of being with Him, always.
If I start poorly, it’s okay—so long as my heart is with Him, He will guide me back. And if I achieve success without my heart in Him, it’s all for nothing. Most of my time is spent in the space between the beginning and the goal, now I understand there’s no “wrong” path in the journey, as long as I walk with Jesus by my side.
As I write this, I’m struck by how easily the human mind can overcomplicate things. This is a lesson I’ve learned countless times: it’s how we do things that truly matters, not just what we do. Yet, despite understanding the concept, I’m still struggling to live it out in my life. That’s what I really need right now.
God’s teaching #2
With a deep desire to spread the gospel, I’ve been hosting an online group for Chinese individuals. However, I’ve come to realize that not many share my passion for Jesus. I often face awkward silences, which leave me feeling both angry and sad—for God and for myself—because they aren’t as open and excited as I am.
Last night, during our second marriage course session, the teacher encouraged us to use those awkward silences to do the heavy lifting. I learned that I need to simply sit with that discomfort instead of trying to fix it. Oh Lord, I see that this is what my heart truly needs in those moments. Thank You for guiding me so closely and being present in my life.