Everyday life feels like a vivid dojo, constantly teaching me lessons. My greatest enemy isn’t external—it’s my own unpurified thoughts. The Holy Spirit guides me daily, revealing things about myself I hadn’t yet seen.

Today felt like an exam, with life throwing multiple chaotic events at me all at once:

• Friends canceled Friendsgiving last minute. All my preparations felt wasted, and now I have to make new plans.
• The lawsuit with Riley’s previous boss is nearing its final steps, yet the other party keeps delaying progress.
• A friend scheduled a call with me but didn’t follow through, leaving me uncertain if I should follow up.
• My client called with errors in my work that need urgent attention.

And the list didn’t stop there. As I maneuvered through these tasks, my scattered mind kept piling on more:

• The plants are drying out.
• Things have been going missing around the house, I need to figure out why.
• The fire stove is filthy.
• The bathroom needs deep cleaning.

The list goes on as long as I am breathing…

I realized today how daily life can be an energy black hole. Strangely, our brain isn’t designed to save us from it. Instead, it seems to pull us deeper into the chaos. Unless we press the brakes, and have to press them hard, the high-speed train of thoughts won’t stop.

These past three months of quiet living in the valley, away from the city, have granted me a new level of self-awareness. I observed how a single thought can arise, tighten my body, drain my energy, and leave my heart weary and bitter toward life.

Truly, every thought carries power. If we don’t guard our hearts, the unguarded ones slowly erode our souls without us even noticing. My life has become my dojo, and I see it more clearly now: God is with me every moment, teaching me to discern light from darkness. Shockingly, I’ve realized that 90% of my thoughts are rooted in fear. Worse, I’ve even found myself clinging to and worshipping these misguided decisions.

Oh Lord, Your gentle hands are my only comfort. Please keep me under Your wings. I need You and I only want Your peace. I place my life on Your altar, asking You to purify it completely. Take me away from this chaotic world and lead me to Your stillness.