It’s been days since I last wrote in my journal, but Lord, You know my heart is always with You. I’ve discovered an intimate connection with You that no condition can ever break. I treasure this new level of longing my heart holds for You. I used to worry that obsession was something unhealthy, but in this world, the only holy and life-giving obsession is You, my sweet Savior. My heart aches for You deeply.

Laying everything down on the altar has become the theme of this season. Recent events have shown me just how much I’m still holding on to. Each time I finally surrender something I thought I couldn’t, my mind quickly scrambles to find a replacement. To the mind, every release feels like a loss. And all of this is so hard to carry out when my flesh is weak. As Jesus said to His disciples in the garden, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. That is exactly where I am right now.

Oh Lord, I pray You give me the strength to fully live out the lessons You’re teaching me. I want only what You have willed for me—not what I will for myself—for my way leads to destruction. I’ve seen it too many times.

Come and be with me. Live in me. Do whatever You need to do to complete Your work in me.