Dream
Dark, enclosed room with dim red lighting — eerie, almost suffocating atmosphere.
Presence of WWII-era commandos and a Prime Minister giving me orders to distribute flyers — a sense of control, authority, or manipulation. In the background, shadowy figures resembling Batman or featureless black mannequins — silent, watching, possibly fake or symbolic. The space felt staged, like a theatrical set — a facade masking something far more sinister, hidden, and quietly disturbing.
This dream stood out to me because I’m deeply familiar with the kind of evil dreams I’ve experienced throughout my life. The twisted characters, the distorted storylines, it’s all become so repetitive that sometimes I wonder if the devil is just getting lazy.
But this one was different. It terrified me without using any of the usual tricks. No jump scares, no monsters, no last-minute betrayal where I think I’m saved only to fall back into the devil’s hands.
This time, everything had a polished surface. It wore the appearance of something good, familiar elements from my own world, even a sense that I was participating in something positive. But deep down, I knew. This was more evil than all the monster dreams combined. Something was hiding behind the facade, something colder, quieter, and far more dangerous.
redeem it all
Last night, as I lay in bed before sleep, I began to feel a stirring, an urge to start journaling daily again. I had stopped before because I didn’t want it to become just another task, another performance for my mind to obsess over. I was afraid of turning something sacred into a ritual of striving.
But now, by the Lord’s grace and the Holy Spirit’s gentle guidance over the past few months, I believe I’ve begun to overcome that performance mindset. I’ve returned to my true heart. And in that place, I just want You. I want the Light, the Life, and the Way, more deeply, more strongly than anything else.
Oh Lord, every time I begin to think, this must be it—it can’t get better than this, You surprise me again. You pour out even more love, and You stretch my heart to hold more than I ever thought it could. I’m left in shock and awe at how perfect, how beautiful, and how endless Your love truly is.
The heartbreak I carry around my family
is just Your gentle invitation:
“My child, let Me carry this for you.”
The breaking of my marriage
is not a punishment, but Your tender call
“It is time to place it fully in My hands
so I can bear the weight you were never meant to hold.”
The hatred I have felt toward sin
and the deep disappointment in humanity, even in myself,
You meet with quiet truth:
“You were never asked to fix the broken
only to release your expectations.
I will redeem all
and you, together.”
The sick and aching body I have carried through these days
is Your hidden whisper wrapped in mercy,
“You were not made for a life of constant weight.
You can be weak.
You can move slowly.
Still, I will take care of everything.”