Yesterday I felt the old version of me trying to slip back into my new pace of life. And today I woke up feeling unusually drowsy, like my body just wouldn’t cooperate. I opened my eyes at 6:30am but couldn’t keep them open, so I went back to sleep for another four and half hours. Even after waking up to phone calls and eating lunch, I still felt weak. I tried to meditate to clear my mind, but instead I fell asleep again for another two and a half hours.

I’m not sure what’s going on, but I sense there’s a lesson in it. As the day slowly winds down, I can feel the old parts of my mind reaching for something to make today worth it. But in that moment I realized this slowed-down state is exactly what I need to experience. This too is part of the new pace. It’s slow, like I haven’t fully woken up, but steady, like the urgency has melted away, like I’m sick and no longer rushing. There is a steady heart shouting, “Nothing is more worthy than the peace of God.”

All things are lessons God would have me learn. A lesson is a miracle which God offers to me, in place of thoughts I made that hurt me. What I learn of Him becomes the way I am set free. And so I choose to learn His lessons and forget my own.