Dream

I’ve been incarnated on earth many, many times—moving quickly through life after life. And in each one, I carried unresolved pain in my relationships. My heart was broken, and I found myself pleading with the Lord: Why did all of this happen to me? What did I do wrong?

Then, as if heaven heard my cry, the ordinary dream shifted into a lucid one. And there He was again, the Holy Spirit, gently walking me through the lesson, right there in the dream. This lesson was so powerful, so holy, I still struggle to put it fully into words. But for the first time, I saw something unexpected: the people I thought had hurt me… were not the ones holding me captive. I was the one holding them hostage.

It didn’t make sense to my head, but my heart saw it through the eyes of Christ. Every piece of brokenness was a mirror, reflecting how desperately I was trying to prove my worth. A worth that had never been lost or damaged, only buried beneath fear and sin. The moment I recognized that layer of blockage, it shattered. And from beneath it, my true self emerged. In that moment of release, everyone who had been trapped in the pain of those relationships, including me, was finally set free.

Confession

Confession did not come easily in my spiritual journey, probably because of pride, that stubborn hesitation to admit I am wrong. Yesterday, I went to the store to buy some curtains. I noticed a hanger I liked that was used for displaying the curtains. Without thinking much, I paid for the curtains and simply took the hanger with me, assuming it was no big deal. Just a hanger, I told myself.

But my heart felt heavy. I could not lie to the Holy Spirit. Deep down, I knew the thoughts in my mind were sinful. I wanted that hanger, and I did not ask if I could take it. I just did it. Looking back, I realize there have been many moments like this in my life. Times when I took something I wanted, knowing it was not mine. As a child, I even stole money from my parents. Today, I confessed to God with a sincere heart because I now see the depth of sin much more clearly.

Last night’s sermon was the perfect setup for this revelation. It was about David and how he chose to preserve his integrity by not killing Saul, even when he had two clear chances to end years of fear and hiding. The pastor said, “Ending your suffering is not worth losing your integrity over.” That sentence dropped into my heart like a stone into deep water.

I have sinned in small things, brushing them off as no big deal. I did not kill anyone or commit adultery, so I told myself I was fine. But that mindset is so wrong. It does not matter if it is a hanger or twenty dollars. Sin is still sin. And every time I commit it, my heart knows. That is why the peace disappears.

In the afternoon, I was reflecting on the depth of sin, and in that moment I felt the presence of God so powerfully and lovingly. He showed me more clearly why sin is so harmful to us. It is never just about what we damage or break. Because anything we hurt in this world can be easily restored by God. The true tragedy of sin, whether big or small, is that it separates us from the Father and the heavenly gifts the Father has prepared for us. And that is priceless. I would trade anything in the world rather than lose the chance to receive what He has set aside for me.

The devil is sneaky. He whispers excuses, telling us that it is small, that it does not hurt anyone, making it easy for us to believe it is okay. But no. I see now how dangerous that way of thinking is. I see the true depth of those careless choices. Lord, I want to confess every careless sin. Please forgive me, and build a stronger fortress in the places where I have been weak. Do not let the enemy sneak in through those cracks again.

I want a pure heart. For me, and for You.