I can’t see

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. My eyes were heavy, but no matter how hard I tried, my body just wouldn’t let me rest. So, I got up and decided to do some work. Of course, my mind began to wander into all the dark corners. To shift my focus, I picked up The Screwtape Letters and started reading.

I’ve established a comfortable pace for reading this very special book, taking my time to fully absorb its wisdom. I read each letter at least five times, and last night I was focused on Letter 4. This morning, after waking up, I talked with some friends about the TikTok refugee situation and shared how I feel about being in China. I could sense my energy slowly returning. I spent much of the morning realigning with God, and I was refreshed by the Holy Spirit. The Lord knew exactly how much I needed it, and my heart is filled with joy in His presence.

Once again, I reminded myself: Let Your will be done, not mine. I continued seeking His voice and guidance and ended up rereading Letter 3 again. This time, I noticed a line I had missed, even after reading it three times: “his prayers for his mother ‘provide singularly unfortunate.’” It struck me how, when our hearts aren’t in the right place, we can miss what’s right in front of us, even when we’ve looked at it multiple times. Reality in our brain isn’t truth, it’s just a lens reflecting the state of our inner world.

They have mouths but cannot speak, and eyes but cannot see. (Psalms 115)

Though my heart is still hurting, I’ve reached a place where I can pray for her, and so I did. Thank You, Lord, for Your patience and for always being with me.

But She heard

I spent a few hours walking through the city, not just to pass the time but to see my hometown through the Lord’s eyes. Carrying blessings from my Father God, I hope to reach everyone I encounter, even if we’re strangers, even if no words are exchanged. My desire is to share His love with them, silently but sincerely.

When I returned to the hotel, my mom called. She didn’t say what I had hoped to hear, but she tried. I want to believe her heart heard my prayer this morning, and that this was her way of reaching out toward reconciliation.

Oh Lord, with every step I walk with You, and the farther I journey alongside You, the more I feel the weight of the hearts on this earth. You are my only reliable source of strength and peace. Continue to guide me, Lord. Let me be Your loyal servant, bringing glory to Your will.