Yesterday we went on a 15 mile hike with friends. We started at 7 am and did not get back home until 8 pm. It was a long and exhausting day, but my heart is full of gratitude for the time spent with good people and for the breathtaking beauty of God’s creation. It was my first time hiking such a long trail across multiple mountain ridges, and also the first time experiencing 360 degree views of both Mt. Baker and Mt. Shuksan the entire way.

When I got home, I received a text from a close friend. It was an aggressive message accusing me of abusing him with my faith in Jesus, since he is not a believer. It was disheartening to read, although I can understand where it comes from. I am not sure yet how to respond, especially since this may be the last time we speak. Looking back, I see how this relationship often reflected my own inner struggles from a time when I was not secure in who I was or where I stood in life. Now I know who I am and where I stand in Christ, and I see that our paths of growth may no longer align.

Recently the Holy Spirit has been teaching me about silence. I have received many nudges to understand what that means in my life, and I believe this is part of it. In the past I was always a people pleaser and a team player, trying not to be disliked. I would listen intently, go along with things, and work hard to maintain harmony. I see that same pattern in this friendship. But now I am learning to shed those layers, to be honest with my friends, and to no longer hold back my passion for my faith. For him, it is simply too much.

I want him to be happy, but I cannot keep a relationship shallow just to preserve surface level conversations. When I share deeply, we collide. So Lord, I surrender this relationship to You. You know my heart. Please bless us both, no matter how this chapter ends.