Our Airbnb weekend ended today, and after my friend dropped me off at home, we gave them a tour of our house. Their compliments made me feel deeply grateful for what we have.

However, along with that gratitude, a darker side of myself resurfaced. Memories from my childhood came flooding back—after my dad passed away, my family went through a long period of financial crisis. The fear I accumulated during that time still lingers. My mom, dealing with her own grief, projected her fears onto me, which shaped my heart to prioritize material success above all else. Whenever I felt I didn’t have something I wanted, I would envy those who did. But when I became the one who had what others wanted, I was consumed by fear of losing it or triggering others’ jealousy. Those old, dark thoughts crept in again today.

I recognized them, and I’m doing my best to surrender everything to God, asking Him to remove these impure thoughts from my heart. No earthly possession can truly save me—Jesus is the One who has saved me from all my insecurities. All my achievements and everything I cling to belong to God, none of it is truly mine.

Oh Lord, You know my heart inside and out, and You understand my condition better than anyone. Help me to quickly recognize sin and protect me from the temptations of darkness. Guide me closely through every moment, and forgive me for all my wrongdoings. All I desire for the rest of my life is Your peace and love. Let Your light shine through me into the world around me. I love You, Lord.