As I reflect on the conversation I had with my husband last night, my heart aches. I’ve been praying to God, asking for a pure heart that seeks Him, rather than allowing my mind to dwell on how this situation might affect my happiness.

This morning, I felt a mix of sadness and peace, and the Holy Spirit filled my heart with words and love to compose this message to him:

I laughed when Aunt Pat told that crazy story of you as a boy, fearlessly hanging out the window.

I giggled when Mom and Dad said you were an escape artist, always managing to climb out of the crib.

I screamed inside the day you ran toward that RV fire, trying to rescue people you’d never even met. I’ll never forget the fear that gripped me as the propane tank leaked, shooting flames ten feet into the sky. In that moment, I thought you were going to die.

I’ll never forget the stories I’ve heard and the life events we’ve shared, each one revealing just how brave my husband truly is. To this day, I still ask myself: if you had died in that fire while saving others, would I hate you or be proud of you? I know now—I would be so proud.

I know you’ve been fighting an inner battle far longer than we’ve been together. And it breaks my heart to see you stuck in the darkness. I ask myself why a man so brave could feel so weak in his own struggles. But I think it’s because you’ve been in that dark place for so long that you’ve started to believe the enemy’s lie—that you’re weak and can never win.

But I see it differently. The devil grips you so tightly because he knows how powerful you would be if you fully woke up. That strong, light-filled man with a heart of gold, willing to die for others, never truly died. That’s the man I married. That’s the man God created.

Fight for me, fight for God, my brave soulmate. Fear no evil!

“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:1-4 KJV)