Not turning away, but leaning in

This morning, as I was rushing to get ready to leave, my husband started talking about the arrangements for Mom’s memorial and burial in Chicago and PEI. I caught myself not wanting to engage, feeling drained just thinking about how much mental energy it would require—energy I didn’t have or didn’t want to give. I tried to seem disinterested, hoping he’d take the hint that I wasn’t ready to dive into planning. But he kept going.

As my irritation grew, I suddenly felt the Holy Spirit’s nudge: You still have time. Why not work with your husband right now? Isn’t this what you wanted—that he would take on more family planning? The realization hit me hard, like a jolt to the heart.

The Power of Surrender and Divine Guidance

I recognized that my reaction was rooted in my fear of the future and old PTSD from past experiences where I had to handle a lot of the planning myself, which was exhausting. But this moment felt like an opportunity to rewire my thinking. I let go of my fears, quieted my thoughts, and listened carefully to my husband.

In just 40 minutes, we booked two flights and organized transportation for a nine-day trip. He even came up with a creative solution for our Nexus pass interview. The wait time in Washington state is nearly a year, but he found an opening in Maine, which we’ll be passing through on our way to Canada! I was amazed at how everything fell into place when I let go and fully surrendered.

Thank you, Lord, for guiding me through every detail of my life and helping me overcome. I have tasted the sweetness of walking closely with you. There is nothing I own in this world that could ever repay the love you pour into me. All I can do is keep my heart surrendered to you so that your glory may be magnified through my soul.