Tonight, we had a family meal at my mom’s place. Unfortunately, my cooking didn’t go over as well as I hoped, and I felt a bit disappointed by that. I also had a conversation with my sister-in-law about the struggles she’s been facing for a long time. I could see how tired and worried she is, and I feel like I have an idea of what she needs to do to move forward. But every time I try to go deeper in our conversation, something always interrupts it. It feels like I’m trying to punch through a wall made of shadows when it comes to helping my own family.

It saddens me because I feel like I’m holding onto so much hope and wisdom from God that I want to share with them, but it’s difficult when they’re not in a place to receive it. I know I need to let go and focus my attention on the Lord. Tonight, I kept reminding myself: It’s all about You, never about me. That helps clear away any resentful emotions rooted in my ego. I want my actions to reflect Him, because above all else, I want Him more than anything.

One thing that brings me peace is how much longer I can sit with unhappiness, imperfection, and annoyance now, without letting them stir worry or panic within me. I’ve grown more comfortable with them in a healthy way, and they no longer control me. I thank the Lord for that—for giving me a peaceful heart that guides me through all of life’s challenges. Lord, teach me how to deepen my love for You and to focus my attention on You. My true home is with You, not here.