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steadfast servant

The trip from Hangzhou and Yuanan has left a deep sorrow in my heart. I’ve seen so many people trapped in unwise actions, deceived by the lies the enemy keeps telling them. In their hearts, they believe they are doing the right thing, but in reality, they are making things

May 4, 2025

Daily Bread

The part of me that always wants the best outcome comes from a good place, a desire for excellence and goodness. But because of that desire, my mind labels my efforts as superior, giving me the illusion of having the moral high ground. Over time, I’ve begun to see the

April 30, 2025

The Gentle Slope

You will say that these are very small sins; and doubtless, like all young tempters, you are anxious to be able to report spectacular wickedness. But do remember, the only thing that matters is the extent to which you separate the man from the Enemy. It does not matter how

April 27, 2025

purity of my heart

Today was the first full day of my Fengshui class in Hangzhou. I had so much fun learning new things and making new friends. I also had dinner with one of my counseling clients. It’s always special to meet people I’ve only known online in real life and to see

April 26, 2025

betraying both circles

Thank You, Lord, for carving out 2 days of rest, I needed them more than I even knew. Thank You for keeping me company while I’m away from loved ones. Even in solitude, You remind me that everyone on this earth is part of my family. I had such sweet

April 25, 2025

too passionate about God?

The Screwtape Letters – Letter 9 Key Notes Peak vs. Trough Periods When humans are at a “Peak”—meaning they have more physical energy, joy, health, or are spiritually vibrant—they’re harder to tempt. Yes, they might have stronger desires (like sexual appetite), but they also have stronger self-control, higher morale, and

April 24, 2025

deeply transformed

Spending this week at a friend’s house to learn more about the I Ching. I’m so grateful for the way I now see the world, how I recognize what is truly good, even when others might not. Living in the U.S. changed many things for me, but the most important

April 23, 2025

reach the broken hearts

I’ve been away from my hometown for a few days, another trip arranged by God and for God. In this time, I’ve seen so clearly what my spirit is struggling with, a prideful ego that pulls me away from simply enjoying the pure peace and joy in each moment. I’m

April 22, 2025

Pride Kills

Thank You, Lord, for bringing so many different people into my life. Each one has been a mirror, gently and sometimes painfully showing me the places in my heart that still need healing and mending. Right now, pride is the greatest enemy I face. It keeps me from being fully

April 18, 2025

Amen

It is so noticeable how quickly the mind catches praises for itself instead of giving them to the Lord. It rejoices without even realizing it. The mind always wants to make it about “me.” This is the game it loves to play. But I am so tired of this game.

April 16, 2025

unsettled heart

Meditation of Aunt: High up in the mountains stands an old two-story Chinese wooden house. Red chunlian hang on the front door, and strings of dried red peppers and corn dangle from the porch beams. It’s just Mom and me. We often hike to the mountain peak to fly kites,

April 15, 2025

lay it down

Something led me to start a conversation with my aunt. After several days of gentle preparation, she slowly began to open her heart. Deep down, I feel so excited to share the light with her. But I know I must not let that excitement take over. What I need now

April 14, 2025

voice of a tired mind

Today is the last day I’m taking care of my sister-in-law’s kids. From 7 am to 8 pm, my day was completely packed. Now that it’s winding down, I feel exhausted. When I’m in Yichang, I often find myself caught up in the small, repetitive details of life. I’m surrounded

April 13, 2025

keep them at bay

I recently arranged another outing for my family and some close family friends. There were nine of us in total, and we spent a night at a fun place. The kids had a blast, and the adults had a chance to connect and talk. Life feels heavy these days, with

April 12, 2025

fully Yours

This morning, I was troubled by the conversations and the things I had seen, but You, Lord, You sent a message straight into my heart. To experience God is to have understanding. To understand God is to experience. On this trip back home, I have experienced so much of Your

April 10, 2025

You are my only reality

Oh Lord, only You can truly describe what has taken place in these past few days. I am simply honored to be Your humble servant, delivering the message to those who need it. I am deeply grateful for what I have witnessed. Every miracle You brought to us is evidence

April 8, 2025

dwell in the true rest

Days pass so quickly when I am scattered. But I trust that every piece, though it may seem random to me, is a carefully prepared gift from You. Thank You for arranging for me to meet so many new people in the past few days, for the shared meals and

April 4, 2025

call upon Your name

A family situation came up in tonight’s online group. I felt a little overwhelmed, but my heart truly went out to the girl struggling in the entanglement between her parents and husband. I feel incredibly honored to have these people in my life so early on, witnessing their growth not

April 1, 2025

long to meet You every day

Yesterday, I felt quite emotional and didn’t accomplish much. As night fell and I sat in stillness, I longed for God’s peace and love. I intended to go to bed early, but my phone distracted me. Instead of spending time with Him, I ended up scrolling for hours. I felt

March 31, 2025

yearn for Your love

Thank You, Lord, for giving me the opportunity to have more conversations with my brother today. Once again, You have enlightened me, what I see in others is merely a reflection, a reminder of what I need to change within myself, not an invitation to fix others. Yesterday, my brother’s

March 29, 2025

no business dwelling in it

Tonight, some of my brother’s conversations deeply concerned me. He is filled with fear and conspiracies, worried that China and America are on the brink of war. I don’t know how to respond to this in my heart. I simply feel uneasy and sad. I am all too familiar with

March 28, 2025

Great is your faithfulness to me

Thank You, Lord, for working in my family. In just these short three months since I’ve been home, I have witnessed Your mighty power transforming our hearts. I am so grateful that You have opened my mom’s heart. The way she speaks to me now is what I have always

March 27, 2025

You are my miracle

Oh Lord, I can never fully explain what has happened in the past few days, how You brought so many different people together, even those who are clearly stealing Christ’s heart and working for the enemy. You have opened my eyes to see how You work miracles in my life.

March 25, 2025

Hallelujah

Thank You, Lord, for the way You orchestrated my day, making it a time of deep, heartfelt connection with my mom. From the moment I woke up, You gently prepared my heart, bringing the song Hallelujah to my ears and spirit. You placed stories in my mind to share during

March 20, 2025

work solely for Your glory

The older I get, the faster time seems to pass. Often, I feel like I’m losing control of my life, afraid that I’m not doing enough or that I’m doing it wrong. Oh Lord, You comfort me with Your love. Losing control feels frightening because I rely on my own

March 19, 2025

cannot comprehend

The more people I meet, the more I see hopeless souls trapped in this reality. Only You, Lord, can free us from the pain and struggles of this world. I am forever grateful that I know You as my Father, not just my earthly parents, for in You alone I

March 18, 2025

Recentered in Him

I have been spiritually drained these past few days, waking up feeling exhausted. But Lord, my Father, You are so good to me and so faithful. Thank You for showing up in my need. Your presence is my greatest comfort and my ultimate reward. I am still in awe of

March 17, 2025

sad and weak

Tired at last, I lay in bed, my day finally behind me. Oh Lord, only You truly see my heart, its burdens, its weariness, the things that have made me sad and weak. Without You, I am so fragile. Please don’t let the chaos of this world dim my passion

March 16, 2025

To shine, not to be illuminated

To shine, not to be illuminated.

March 15, 2025

I don’t want what I want

Life often feels full of suffering. Just when you think, things are finally good, I can build something here and be content with myself—bang! A bomb drops. Life on earth is hard, but it’s not a personal punishment. Quite the opposite. Suffering is a reminder from God that we were

March 13, 2025

everlasting anchor

Time rushes by as if there’s no tomorrow, and my life feels like a leaf drifting aimlessly along the river of time, without an anchor. Yet, I know I have a stronghold, the house of God. Today’s devotional on Psalm 27 reminded me of this truth, a blazing light that

March 11, 2025

An amazing day

Thank You, Lord, for such an amazing day with my family. To others, it may have seemed like just a normal day, but for me, having been so far from my family of origin for so many years, it was deeply meaningful. I’m so grateful that everything came together today

March 8, 2025

find You

Oh Lord, one of my favorite times of the day is now, when I can sit quietly in bed and enjoy the solitude with You. As the morning rush begins, I often feel like a leaf tossed by the wind, carried from one thing to another. Too often, I fail

March 7, 2025

beautiful reality

Time has flown by so fast, once again, it’s near midnight when I finally wrap up my day and come to talk to You. My Lord, I have grown so attached to You. Even as my eyes grow heavy with sleep, my heart longs to be near You one last

March 6, 2025

emptying myself

Oh Lord, thank You for showing up in my heart today when I feel troubled by someone else’s emotions. I know they need me, but I also recognize that it is not my responsibility to carry the weight of their emotional needs. Thank You for guiding me in moments like

March 5, 2025

pride in this path

I had an incredibly long online group session today, where I listened to a lot of negative expressions from different people. I could feel my heart growing impatient toward those who lacked wisdom and were unwilling to put in the effort. But in that moment, I chose to open my

March 4, 2025

ready to do the work

Another day helping my mom untangle the mess in her home. I hadn’t realized that, over the years, she had started down her own path of hoarding. I understand that part of it comes from being alone and the influence of my frugal grandmother. But seeing the way she lives

March 3, 2025

Heavenly Father

Since returning to China, my sleep schedule has completely fallen off track. My body feels the effects, sending me different signals to remind me. Oh Lord, please help me return to a healthier rhythm and quiet my restless heart that always wants to do more. You see how I am

March 2, 2025

I will follow

Thank You, Lord, for teaching me how to navigate this situation. You have given me a new perspective to face the same challenge, and only You can do it so seamlessly and efficiently. I could not have done this on my own, but I trust Your guidance and have followed

February 28, 2025

transforming power

Today has been a long day. I switched roles with my mom, I stayed home to cook and take care of my grandma while she went to learn how to drive. This is a big challenge for her, but I know it’s the right move. Pushing her out of her

February 26, 2025

Grant me peace

Father, thank You for giving me the words to speak when others needed Your wisdom. I am so grateful to be Your humble servant, sharing Your love through my voice and my words. It is truly an honor to do so in this short life. It has brought meaning to

February 25, 2025

all I see is You

Oh Lord, thank You for Your constant presence throughout all time, and for revealing Yourself in such gentle and perfect ways that I can understand Your teachings. Keep me close to You, Lord, and guard me from all temptation. I long to offer the best of myself to You, and

February 24, 2025

It’s all about you

Tonight, we had a family meal at my mom’s place. Unfortunately, my cooking didn’t go over as well as I hoped, and I felt a bit disappointed by that. I also had a conversation with my sister-in-law about the struggles she’s been facing for a long time. I could see

February 22, 2025

hunger for boundless love

Oh Lord, I hunger for Your boundless love, the kind that knows no end and has no expiration. The love that warms my heart through the darkest days, the love that brings peace amidst every storm. The more I walk this Earth, the more my soul longs for the eternal

February 21, 2025

happy birthday

Happy birthday to me! It’s been a whirlwind of a day, running around gathering furniture for my room at my mom’s place. But the hard work has paid off, now I’m sitting in a fully furnished room, and for the first time in a long time, my heart feels a

February 20, 2025

a prison without keys

Today, as I was cleaning out some of the clutter in my mom’s house, a deep fear overcame me. It felt like I was eight years old again, as if I had done something terribly wrong and was about to be punished. I had to sit down and close my

February 18, 2025

all I truly desire

Another day of working for my mom, seeing the progress brings me joy. Thank You, Lord, for hearing my birthday wish, I can feel You making it happen. I also see the lesson in this for me. The weight of work settles on my shoulders so easily, and once the

February 17, 2025

so fragile, so broken

There is so much anger triggered by living alone with my mom. So many memories I thought were gone, memories I believed no longer hurt, are now flooding back. My heart is struggling to bear the weight of all these painful emotions, while at the same time, I feel the

February 16, 2025
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