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beautiful reality

Time has flown by so fast, once again, it’s near midnight when I finally wrap up my day and come to talk to You. My Lord, I have grown so attached to You. Even as my eyes grow heavy with sleep, my heart longs to be near You one last

March 6, 2025

emptying myself

Oh Lord, thank You for showing up in my heart today when I feel troubled by someone else’s emotions. I know they need me, but I also recognize that it is not my responsibility to carry the weight of their emotional needs. Thank You for guiding me in moments like

March 5, 2025

pride in this path

I had an incredibly long online group session today, where I listened to a lot of negative expressions from different people. I could feel my heart growing impatient toward those who lacked wisdom and were unwilling to put in the effort. But in that moment, I chose to open my

March 4, 2025

ready to do the work

Another day helping my mom untangle the mess in her home. I hadn’t realized that, over the years, she had started down her own path of hoarding. I understand that part of it comes from being alone and the influence of my frugal grandmother. But seeing the way she lives

March 3, 2025

Heavenly Father

Since returning to China, my sleep schedule has completely fallen off track. My body feels the effects, sending me different signals to remind me. Oh Lord, please help me return to a healthier rhythm and quiet my restless heart that always wants to do more. You see how I am

March 2, 2025

I will follow

Thank You, Lord, for teaching me how to navigate this situation. You have given me a new perspective to face the same challenge, and only You can do it so seamlessly and efficiently. I could not have done this on my own, but I trust Your guidance and have followed

February 28, 2025

transforming power

Today has been a long day. I switched roles with my mom, I stayed home to cook and take care of my grandma while she went to learn how to drive. This is a big challenge for her, but I know it’s the right move. Pushing her out of her

February 26, 2025

Grant me peace

Father, thank You for giving me the words to speak when others needed Your wisdom. I am so grateful to be Your humble servant, sharing Your love through my voice and my words. It is truly an honor to do so in this short life. It has brought meaning to

February 25, 2025

all I see is You

Oh Lord, thank You for Your constant presence throughout all time, and for revealing Yourself in such gentle and perfect ways that I can understand Your teachings. Keep me close to You, Lord, and guard me from all temptation. I long to offer the best of myself to You, and

February 24, 2025

It’s all about you

Tonight, we had a family meal at my mom’s place. Unfortunately, my cooking didn’t go over as well as I hoped, and I felt a bit disappointed by that. I also had a conversation with my sister-in-law about the struggles she’s been facing for a long time. I could see

February 22, 2025

hunger for boundless love

Oh Lord, I hunger for Your boundless love, the kind that knows no end and has no expiration. The love that warms my heart through the darkest days, the love that brings peace amidst every storm. The more I walk this Earth, the more my soul longs for the eternal

February 21, 2025

happy birthday

Happy birthday to me! It’s been a whirlwind of a day, running around gathering furniture for my room at my mom’s place. But the hard work has paid off, now I’m sitting in a fully furnished room, and for the first time in a long time, my heart feels a

February 20, 2025

a prison without keys

Today, as I was cleaning out some of the clutter in my mom’s house, a deep fear overcame me. It felt like I was eight years old again, as if I had done something terribly wrong and was about to be punished. I had to sit down and close my

February 18, 2025

all I truly desire

Another day of working for my mom, seeing the progress brings me joy. Thank You, Lord, for hearing my birthday wish, I can feel You making it happen. I also see the lesson in this for me. The weight of work settles on my shoulders so easily, and once the

February 17, 2025

so fragile, so broken

There is so much anger triggered by living alone with my mom. So many memories I thought were gone, memories I believed no longer hurt, are now flooding back. My heart is struggling to bear the weight of all these painful emotions, while at the same time, I feel the

February 16, 2025

lost myself in the work

Another day of organizing the house, and I’ve completely lost myself in the work. I didn’t even realize I missed my journal yesterday, and now my mind is a complete blank regarding what happened. There has been some pleasing progress after these intense days of work, and I’m happy to

February 14, 2025

love You back the way You love me

Today was a very busy day, I visited three graveyards in the morning and spent the entire afternoon cleaning the house and moving things. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. Seeing all the stuff piled up in my mom’s space triggered that familiar pity in me again.

February 12, 2025

Yours shines above me

Today, I caught myself slipping into perfectionism again. I was so eager to shape things exactly how I wanted that I felt sad and disappointed when they didn’t turn out that way. But this time, I pulled myself out of it faster than before, and that made me happy. I

February 11, 2025

Your perfect scale of balance

I went shopping for furniture with my mom, and when we got back, I organized her kitchen. It occurred to me that she is a hoarder, but in a way quite different from my mother-in-law. This once again confirmed that my husband and I come from very similar families, both

February 10, 2025

long to give more

I had lunch and dinner at my grandpa’s place. His daughter’s family joined us for lunch but didn’t stay long, they left right after eating and didn’t return for dinner. There’s tension in the family, but I don’t fully understand why. Separation and gossip seem to be recurring themes throughout

February 9, 2025

my true parent

The Spring Festival holiday is coming to an end, and the big family gatherings are finally over. I could extend my time here as long as I wanted, since I’m so close to my aunt and grandma, but I know I’m here for a different reason. Today, I moved into

February 7, 2025

endless grace

When I talk to the people I love and care about, I can feel my controlling side jump out so quickly. Part of it is my ego, when my ideas are rejected, I feel attacked. Another part is my deep desire to see them thrive, and my mind tells me,

February 6, 2025

lack patience

I woke up with the remnants of unsettling dreams lingering in my mind, visions of an apocalypse where everyone was dying, yet no one listened to my warnings. It felt like I was the only one awake in a world on the brink of disaster. I was overwhelmed by helplessness,

February 5, 2025

mend my heart

I am very aware that the more I focus on problems, the stronger my urge to fix them becomes. I find myself planning and imagining different solutions, picturing how good things could be and how happy I would feel once they are resolved.  However, reality often looks quite different. I

February 4, 2025
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