overstimulated

I landed in Chengdu early this morning, around 5 a.m. After finding a hotel, I spent the day exploring the city on foot. Having lived outside of China for so long, coming back was quite a culture shock.

The towering buildings and sleek modern facilities made me feel like a small-town peasant in a bustling metropolis. My hotel room is on the 19th floor, and while I was excited to take in the views, I quickly realized that all the surrounding buildings were just as tall, if not taller. The dense “concrete forest” left me feeling a twinge of sadness and unease.

A robot delivering food to my door can’t compare to the satisfaction of chopping firewood myself. When I look up, the sky is hidden behind layers of steel and glass. There’s something deeply unnatural about this kind of development, it feels stifling to the soul. Walking the streets, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of people, the constant hum of cars, and the blur of mopeds zipping by. It’s challenging to focus on bringing light to others when I feel so distracted and overstimulated by the noise and motion.

purity for 2025

Despite this, I found small moments of joy. I wished “Happy New Year” to many strangers, and their smiles brightened my day. This year, the word the Holy Spirit placed on my heart is purity. I want to unpack what that means and live it out, especially in this fast-paced, crowded city environment.

For me, purity starts with the little things, offering a cheerful greeting to a stranger, helping an elderly person reach something on a shelf, or simply scanning my thoughts and keeping them simple and unclouded. My mind often plays complex games, but I want to strip those away and focus on the pure and the good.

If I can keep the small things pure, I trust that the bigger things will naturally fall into place. This year, I’ll draw on the “focus” skills I developed in 2024 to deepen my walk with Christ. Starting small, I’m committed to refining my heart and aligning my life with His guidance.