Anyone who tries to save their life will lose it. But whoever gives up their life for me will find true life. – (Matthew 16:25)

The dark season has passed. Now I stand again, steady in peace and clarity. I finally understand this verse in a way I never did before. All the saving I thought I was doing for others—now, with the eyes of Christ, I see it clearly. It was not love, but fear. A fearful heart that needed control and approval. And fear cannot bear good fruit. That explains the burnout I went through. I was not giving. I was taking, disguised as giving.

The pain, the disappointment, and the deep frustration with human nature hardened my heart. I wanted to walk far away from everyone. But in that very separation, I found space to lay everything down. My family, my husband, my friends, and everything in this world, I placed them on the altar. I released them from my heart. The process is long and painful. It feels as if someone shattered my heart and took everything away. But deep down, I know this is what I need to walk through.

Now, I am free. Free from expectation. Free from the need to give or to work. I am simply free.