Last night, I poured out my deep longing to live in God’s peace, away from the frenzy of the world. I invited the Holy Spirit into my heart. This morning, the Spirit guided me to recognize how my mind traps me, even before I’m fully awake.

With my eyes still closed and my mind half-asleep, thoughts began to surface: Look at the pillow your husband is using. It’s old and saggy; you need to replace it today.

Immediately, my heart tensed. I know how much he dislikes changes, and I feared feeling unappreciated for doing something I believe is good for him. This pattern has been ongoing between us, and I realize it’s part of my “changing for the better” OCD. But instead of stopping the cycle, my mind kept searching for solutions—how to make the change while still keeping him happy.

Oh God, You see how unhealthy my mind is. There’s nothing wrong with the pillow—it’s just me! I know this isn’t right, yet I continue, finding ways to justify so many actions that ultimately build the strongest prison around me. I’m so exhausted from this soul-draining mind. Please, take it away from me.