Last night we did the final walk-through with our realtor, and this morning we signed all the papers at the title company. Tomorrow is our official closing day, and we’ll finally get our keys.

Everything was settled, yet strangely, I didn’t feel happy. As I walked through the house last night, I actually felt sad. I should be happy, so why am I sad? The last time I remember feeling like this was when I graduated from college. Everyone was so happy and gathering to take photos, but I felt so sad that I didn’t even attend the photo session.

I had to take a walk last night to clear my head and figure out what was going on with me. Some negative thoughts came up:

• If we shop more or wait a little longer, we might find a better house.
• So many additional expenses are adding up, and I don’t like it.
• The insurance option isn’t very ideal.

I assessed every single thought, but my heart knew none of them were the real cause. They were just thoughts generated by my auto-pilot mind. I didn’t share this with my husband because I know it’s deeper than it seems, and I don’t think he can help. Besides, I don’t want my negativity to impact his joy right now.

Lord, you see, I have a dysfunctional heart. When I should feel happy and grateful, I feel sad instead. Please come and fix my heart, even if it means replacing it.